Love Sucks
by miserycrush
Summary: Malchior made her look like a fool, and she's finally concluded that love sucks and she was done trying, emotions were for the weak. But what happens when her emotion and powers suddenly leave, and she has to earn them back? Can she gain control once again with the help of a certain bird member and maybe give love one more chance? First story! Reviews are greatly appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Wither away. That is my life goal at the moment, to wither away from life and this existence of mine. Malchior made a fool of me. A proper fool of me, my father is probably rolling in hell with laughter. He toyed with my feelings, actually letting me believe that someone might have cared about me, wanted to be with me, and loved me, for well me. No, it was all as lie, he wanted me for my powers, to bring him out of the book that trapped him and try to take over the world. We defeated him of course, with no problem, like we always do. The Teen Titans the rightful hero's of Jump City. You's think with me being a hero that I would be more cautious of the people I trust, but no, I'm a stupid hormonal teenager just like the rest of them and I got dropped in the dirt just like the rest of them. But that's fine, just another lesson learned. Love sucks.  
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos." I murmured, in my very monotone voice while levitating a foot off the dark purple bed. My senses told me it was around five in the mourning and the sun was about to rise over Jump City. Levitating down to my feet I made my way silently out of my room, the steel door sliding quickly to the left and letting me step into the hall. Next door was the Tamaramean alien; Starfire. Who I could hear lightly snoring probably into a fluffy pink pillow. Next door to her was the bathroom that her and I shared, all of her girly products took over the shelves and her willingness to let me use them was almost sickening. Next to the bathroom was the green changeling known as Beast Boy. His snoring you could hear from a mile away, with ear plugs, while under sea. His humor annoyed me on a regular basis and everyone is surprised that he's lasted this long. Next to green boy was the mechanic of the house and the team; Cyborg. Half man, half robot he's the older brother that keeps us all sane, and in a sense holds us together, thankfully he doesn't snore.  
Then last but not least was leader of the team, Boy Wonder but to the people he was known as Robin. The brains of the whole operation, he truly was a great leader. Who else is going to hold me back when I want to kill Beast Boy. It was almost not fair, in a way. Due to the link we have he can tell when I'm about to pounce across the dinner table and stab the green annoyance's eyes out. He was my best friend, the last thing on the earth holding me here. I knew I wasn't going to hear him snoring, he was an early riser, like me. He was probably in the training room, taking advantage of it before the team woke up and duty was going to call. I floated silently through the steel door and down the steps to the kitchen where I searched for my mug to make my cup of traditional herbal tea. To my surprise there was a cup already waiting for me, sitting on the counter, steam pouring over the top. I raised a thin eyebrow and floated over to it wondering if it was poisoned. That would be rude, trying to poison me through my tea.  
"Five o'clock on the dot." a voice rang out behind me. A smile almost crept onto my face as I turned to look at Bird Boy sitting at the kitchen table his legs propped up on the chair across from him.  
"I'm guessing this is a trap?" I stated, while turning back around and grabbing my cup of hot tea. "No one's ever made me tea." I listened as the chair scrapped across the floor as he got to his feet, my back still to him.  
"Well you haven't left your room lately, it's the only way to see you." he replied, flatly, I could hear the leadership in his voice, laced with worry. "We've been worried." he added.  
"I'm fine, Robin." I replied, curtly and turned to find him a foot away from me. My violet eyes snapped up to the mask that covered him. They might be blocking me from seeing the emotion in them but I could feel it radiating off him.  
"You've been locked away in your room for a week," he said, "You don't come out for food, you only leave for missions and your friends miss you."  
_ 'Friends.'_ I scoffed, mentally.  
"I'm worried about you." he said, when he saw my eyes roll. That was something that was hard to doubt, Robin's friendship.  
"There is no need to worry about me." I said, and took another sip of the hot liquid. "So what if I lock myself away for a few days, it's not like I haven't done it before." I pointed out.  
"Not over a boy before." That was a prick to the heart, and I felt Brave begin to probe at me, wanting me to take a swing at his face. But I pushed her back down into the depths of my mind.  
_'Come on!' _she cried. _'One punch right in the nose!'_  
_'Shut up, Brave!' _Lust cried. _'Don't hurt my Boy Wonder's face.'_  
_'Will you two please be quiet.' _Knowledge begged. _'Raven's trying to concentrate.'_  
"I'm fine." I whispered again, after and awkward pause on my part. My head was aching due to my emotions bickering. I really need to meditate, and beat the crap out of all of them.  
_'WHO WANTS TO PLAY STANCH BALL IN NEVERMORE?!'_ Rude screamed over, everyone.  
_'I'll play!' Happy_ answered.  
_'Um, no thanks...' _Timid whispered from the corner of my mind.  
_'I rather watch Robin train,' _Lust declared, with the smack of her lips. _'He's so hot when he sweats.'_  
"I need to go." I blurted out, suddenly and began to flee from the room. But Robin caught up quickly and grabbed my elbow pulling me to a halt.  
"What's the matter?" he asked, noticing the squinting I made with my face.  
"Nothing, I just need to meditate." I said, and tried to continue out of the room, but he stopped me again.  
"Raven I want to help," he said, and looked at me with what I assume were pleading eyes. "Let me in.

hii everyone, well who ever is reading this thanks for reading if you have. Please comment if you would like more :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"I can't." I managed to whisper, while under the stare of Robin. "I did that once and this is why I am the way I am." I added, then pulled my arm from his grasp. He stared at me blankly while I floated away from the room, my cape swung over my shoulders and covered my petite frame. He can't understand, doesn't he get that? He's the great Boy Wonder, the leader of the infamous team that runs through the city beating up bad guys. He isn't the dark quiet one that sits in the back of the car, trying to avoid the press. Not that they look at me in the first place. 'She's in interesting hero.' 'That's a lot of black for someone who's suppose to be a hero.' 'Do you think she'll two face them?' With a rough shake of my head I blocked our all of the news reports I've seen of my and entered the calm serenity of my room. Placing my tea over on my dresser I picked up the heavy steel mirror that sat there. The portal into my mind, a place that is precious and also frustrating to me. My emotions were very loud and had more expression today then they usually do, and I wasn't in the mood for their opinions. Placing the mirror down on my bed I silently levitated up above it, and wrapped my legs indian style.

"You guys are in some serious trouble." I mumbled, and transported myself into the mirror. For me it's an easy ride, I'm use to it, it is my mind after all. But when Beast Boy and Cyborg entered, I'm pretty sure it must of been rough and scary. Good. Teach them twice about entering my room. I almost felt a twang of guilt when I though of Cy, all the times he has saved me, or made me laugh when I feeling low. The look on his face when he saw me broken and sad on the broken roof of the T tower made me hate Malchior even more. I almost got my friends killed, because I let him into my mind and play around with these stupid emotions that need to learn how to keep shut. Not paying attention to my surrounding I crashed onto the dirt ground with a thud. 'Perfect' I thought. 'Just perfect. I come in here trying to show my emotions who's boss and I fall on my ass into my own mind' Getting to my feet I began dusting off my cape and looked at the Emoticlones that surrounded me, all in their different colored uniforms. Looked like the rainbow threw up in my head.

"Nice landing, hot stuff." Brave said, with a thumbs up and a swoosh of her green cape.

"You should be careful though," Knowledge said, peeking around Brave. Her bright yellow uniform almost blinded me as she stepped forward while adjusting her glasses that sat on her nose. "We don't need you injuring yourself." Suddenly and orange for popped up in front of me, and burped in my face.

"So mature." I sung, while crossing my arms tightly, to avoid any attacking.

"Well," Brave began, and put her hands on her hips. "We are parts or you." she pointed out. My hand twitched but I suppressed the negative thoughts, and the urge to lash out on her. I really wasn't in the mood for Rage to make an appearance

"That's why I'm here." I breathed. "Why are you guys so active?" I

"What do you mean?" Timid asked, shyly.

"In the kitchen with Robin." I reminded them. "I was this close to making the room explode, because you guys were so loud." I explained.

"You can't blame us." Lust purred, from a rock she sat on. "Robin's just so... yummy." I stare at her with what I thought I was annoyance but felt like jealously. Me, jealous of my own emotion, she was me for crying out loud.

"Why are you thinking about him that way?" I asked, trying to ignore the jealousy in me.

"Because you are." she chirped, and jumped down to her feet, her maroon colored cape wrapped around her petite frame and accented our pale skin. It was kind of a nice color. Think about it," she continued, and became to slowly walk towards me. "If you weren't thinking naughty thoughts about Robin, I wouldn't be here," she said, with her arms raised.

"Where were you when Malchior was here?" I pointed out, ignoring her accusations towards me. Her loud laugh rang through the dead air as she halted in front of me. With in choking distance.

"You didn't care for Malchior the same way you care for Robin."

"Of course I care for Robin!" I cried. "He's my best friend and team mate."

"What about the link?" Timid asked, from the shadows of Knowledge.

"What about it," I snapped, and instantly regretted it, when I saw her curl into herself.

"It's very strong." Brave said, arms crossed as she walked over. "When you're near him we can feel the emotion coming off him."

"So?" I questioned. "I feel everyone's emotions when I'm near them. Why do you think I hate Beast Boy?"

"BB's cool." Brave said, "I bet I could kick his ass in stank ball."

"He's trying to push the wall down." Knowledge explained. "He let you in, so he wants in."

"I let him in by accident." I sighed. "He was going to die so I needed to save him."

"You care about him, he cares about you, so why don't you to let each other in, kiss and make up." Lust suggested, in a exasperated voice.

"Because we don't have anything to make up for." I sighed, annoyingly and tried not to lash out on them. They're me after all, so I can't just treat my self badly.

"Just try letting him in." Brave said.

"But I don't want to." I said.

"That's a lie." Lust scoffed, and I shot her a glare. "He cares about you so why don't you let him in?"

"Because it's dangerous!" I finally cried, and felt almost to the point of exhaustion. Between them and Robin nagging at me, then struggling to control my powers I was close to losing it any moment.

"For him?" Brave asked. "Or you?" We all fell silent as her words hung in there. I opened my mouth hoping a smart reply would come out but before it could the sky began to flash red while a familiar alarm went off. The Titans alarm. That meant there was trouble, which was also an distraction.

"Raven!" someone screamed from outside of mirror. Suddenly I was ripped back through the portal and landed on my bed with a choked gasp. My dark room continued to flash red, which gave it an eery look as the alarm bounced off the walls. A knock at the door caught my attention again. "Red X is in town and we need to go." Robin urged on the other side of the door. Pulling my hood up I made my way to the door that flew open revealing me our traffic light also known as our leader.

_"A hot traffic light."_ Lust sneered, from the depths of my mind.

"You okay?" he asked, when I didn't say anything for a moment.

"I'm fine." I replied, in the same monotone voice I've been using for years. Stepping into the hallway, the door slide shut behind me. "Where's X?" I asked, in hope of a subject change, and a well needed distraction, from my emotions.

_"You still got Robin, Rae."_ Lust purred. I swear I might actually kill my own emotion.

So, Hi guy! I have no idea what to really say but thank you guys SOOO much for all of the great and helpful reviews I was really surprised by how much I got and it means so much to wake up and see that my phone had exploded with emails all from fanfiction. Sorry it took me a while to get this up, I just got off spring break and I'm also working so I might be able to post once or twice a week, and I'm always writing in a notebook at school so ideas will be rolling. Sorry if there are any mistakes I'm really tired but wanted to post this for you guys and do a shot out to everyone who commented!

Guest: It was an idea that popped in my head one day, like what if they played stank ball in Nevermore? It would be really cool! Thanks for the review and please keep it coming!

Another guest: Totally fine if there is no criticism, just the fact that you took the time to comment is awesome so thanks!

Razer11: Thank you for commenting on how descriptive it is! For a long time my writing use to be very blain and boring so I work to make it better! Thanks for the comment, hope you see this!

mojoboy31: I like your username by the way haha. Thanks for the lovely comment and I hope to see another!

Dixxy: Thank you SO much on such a long comment, it means a lot when someone wants me to succeed in writing and to become better. Sorry about the non editing I'm very bad at it, I'm doing this from my ipad and I have the habit of writing it and just not rereading through it, hopefully this one is better and i would LOVE if you commented again!

Thebatfamily: Straight to the point I like it, thank you and hope you read chapter two :)

Hirari-princess: I'm you're getting obsessed! That's great to hear! I'm the one person that ships people that shouldn't happen you know? Robin and Raven, Spike and Buffy, Rose and the Doctor its bad cuz I always get disappointed but then there is people like you guys who are out there and like Robin and Raven together to! Thanks for the comment!

THANKS GUYS!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Some museum downtown." Robin explained, while urging me to follow him down the hallway. "I sent the other in the T car already."

"I'll just teleport then." I said, simply while we loaded onto the elevator that took us down to the garage where his T cycle was held.

"No, you won't." he replied, and walked off. I followed behind him with a furrowed brow.

"No?" I questioned. We passed a wall of supplies where he grabbed two helmets, one black and the other red. "What do you mean no?" I pushed, and grabbed his arm to pull him to a stop, where he turned and looked at me with his masked eyes.

"I don't want you going in there alone." he advised, and held the helmet up. "You're coming with me."

"Why?" I rebuked. "Last time I checked I can take care of myself." I snapped at him.

_"Here we go."_ Rage smirked, within me.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but last time I checked, teleporting weakens you." he almost growled, which surprised me since Robin is the calmest person I know. "I've already lost a part of you to Malchior and I refuse to lose anymore." he said, in a softer voice. "Especially to a scum like X." Our stare down only lasted a few seconds when Knowledge whispered in my ear that he was right and I shouldn't argue.

"Fine." I grumbled, and grabbed the black helmet from his outstretched hand. Pulling his helmet on, Robin swung his leg over the red bike, then turned the key and it roared to life. Reluctantly, I swung my leg over and seated myself behind Robin before pulling on the black helmet.

"Hold on." he called over the engine. Hesitantly I wrapped my arms around Robin's toned torso and Lust sighed in my head. Suddenly he we shot off like a rocket which made my grip tighten around Robin, and I could just feel his smirk from here. We literally flew out of the garage and sped down the special hidden bridge that led to the city where we weaved in and out of traffic. It was a little frightening, I'll admit that, the feeling of my stomach being gone really bothered me. Maybe this is what it felt to others when I transported them, the feeling of losing control. Holding on tighter I ducked my helmet covered head into his shoulder, silently wishing it will end it came to a sudden halt and I gained my feeling of control back. "You okay?" Robin asked, when I didn't let go. With a small nod, I managed to pull my arms back and eased the helmet off my head, before swinging my leg over the back and standing up. Sadly I haven't gained all of the feeling back in my legs and almost fell back onto my butt. "Whoa there." Robin said, quickly grabbing my arms to help steady me. "You okay?" he asked, for the millionth time today. Once the feeling came back again I gave a small nod and pushed his hands away, not in a mean way. "I should take you out riding more often." I glared up at his stupid domino mask and opened my mouth for a smart remark but was interrupted by a familiar, annoying disguised voice.

"Look at the lovely couple." Red X sang. Rage growled with in my mind, as Robin and I turned to see X leaning against the pillar of the museum.

"X." Robin growled, and his hands balled up into fists. "Whatever you're up to, it ends here."

"No need to get sensitive, Boy Blunder." X said, and held his arm up while doing a small turn. "See, no jewels or priceless goods." he stopped his turning, and glared down at us. "Just itching for a fight."

"Where are the others?" I whispered, as my fingers tingles with power. I have to admit that I was itching for a fight too, pent up anger and energy that needed to be released.

"Oh the three losers?" X laughed and crossed his arms. "They had some car troubles on the way."

"What did you do to them?" Robin demanded.

"Just the usual." he replied and made his way down the steps with ease and grace. "Goo, electric shock. Come one Bird Boy, I've been using the same tactics for months. I mean after all I am the one with the suit you made to defeat your friends." With a small sigh of annoyance I grabbed a near by pole and swung it at him, causing him to crash into a car, parked on the street.

"God he never shuts up." I mumbled and lowered my arm, then casting a look over at Robin.

"We should go get the others-" Robin was cut off as a giant X crashed into him plastering him to the stone pillar behind us. I spun around to find Red X on his feet and with in dangerous range of me.

"Sorry man." Red snickered and looked down at me. "Jeez Rae you losing your touch?" he asked, and cracked his knuckles. 'I barely felt that sweetheart." My glare became deadly as I felt anger rage through me, and I gritted my teeth.

"Azarath Metrion Zin-" my mantra was cut off when a sticky red x was slapped across my mouth. Red launched himself at me, and we crashed onto the steps of the museum, and I had to use my hands as self defense. In my mind I was panicking, this wasn't good, not the littlest bit good, I'm not trained in hand to hand combat. But I managed to throw a punch to Red's jaw which did little to affect him and just made my hand throb. Roughly he grabbed my wrist, pinning them to the ground by my head while straddling my waist and keeping my legs down. Was this it? Did he finally have one of us where he wanted us and he was going to kill me?

"Wow." he breathed. "Finally have a Titan in the palm of my hand. Got to admit it though, I never thought it would be you. Now what to do." he sang and leaned down closer to my face. I did my best not to squirm but I was slowly losing everything. Panic broke loose in Nevermore, Brave was hunched on the ground like she was in pain while Timid cried, Happiness and Knowledge where missing with the others. Anymore of this and I might lose control of everything. "So what's ticking in your brain, little bird? Emotions are losing their control, your powers don't have there oomph anymore? Was it this Malchior I keep hearing a lot about?" he asked, and my heart actually stopped for a moment. Looking up into his masked eyes his smugness was practically rolling over him. "Little Raven had a crush didn't she? Let me guess, someone you could finally relate to? Someone who didn't think you were some freak of nature with an agenda, but a warm, kind, loving girl that had the will to love if she was given the chance. Then this boy charming, Malchior, did everything he could to crawl his way into your black heart and make you trust him." My teeth felt like they were going to crack under the pressure I was applying on them, so I moved the pressure to my fist, where they sat clenched under Red X's grip. "And you, being the stupid little teenager that you are, believed him. Come on Raven, I thought you were the brains of the operation. Always so hesitant and calculating whether or not people are worth trusting, But I guess all those years of no love can take a toll on a demon." That was another stab at my heart, the control began to slowly slip out of my grip as he pressed on. "So after your shining dark knight broke your fragile heart, everything isn't working quiet right in your head is it? I've heard of this Malchior fella of yours. He messed with the dark magic, didn't he? It can mess with even the strongest of people. But you're not that strong so who knows what the hell it's doing to you. But you should face the fact Raven," he paused and leaned in closer so I had nowhere to look but his masked eyes. "that you're a demon, a demon that's meant to destroy the world, and no one on this planet, or in their right mind would waste their time to love a piece of pathetic trash like you." There it was, the snap. I felt it deep with in the depths of my brain, the snap of my mind losing itself. Tears rimmed the corners of my eyes and I felt my heart sink into my stomach. Before Red X could enjoy his victory there was a sudden blue explosion and it sounded like he went crashing through the museum window.

Hi everybody! Thanks SO much for reviewing if you did, and favoriting, or following it means a lot to me since I want to be a writer once I'm done with high school. I really do enjoy reading your guy's comments and I promise to reply to each of them. I managed to update today after a reaaaly busy week, between junior year, band stuff and work I managed to get this finished and a friend of my edited it for me and now here I am posting it. Please enjoy and PRETTY PLEASE review i would love you here what you guys think about it :) have a nice day everybody!

ahsokalo: thanks for commenting! i hope you enjoy this chapter and review again

: thanks! i like the title too. I was sitting on my bed like what the hell am I going to titlw this and i was like 'this sucks' then BA BAM love sucks just sort of happened. hahah I hope you enjoyed the chapter and saw this!

mojoboy31: You're back! yay! thanks for commenting again! It was weird I found out the other day most stories are written in third person and i've been writing in 1st like all my life so I'm always like, 'i hope they like it' so thanks for enjoying it and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

dixxy: Thanks for the criticism! I did what you asked and I got a friend of mine to edit this, this morning, hopefully everything is good and done well, I trust her, shes my best friend and we usually write together. Thanks again for taking the time to comment, such a long comment too, I want to get better and I know i'm still only in high school but I'll try to get better at everything. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Thanks everyone! I'll try to upload soon!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Booyah!' a voice rang through the silent air. The voice and explosion obviously belonged to Cyborg and his canon as him and the others exited the T car. My form stayed mounted to the ground as I stared up at the dark sky.

I wasn't exactly sure what was wrong with me, just that something was wrong and the fact that I'm scared frightened me. Mentally, I checked over myself, nothing but a couple of cuts and bruises that could be healed easily. Sitting up, the bones in my back popped as I placed a hand on the back of my throbbing head, and the other touched the piece of tape that covered my mouth. When I caught the sight of my leotard I froze, the usual violet color uniform was now a deep grey. Everything, my leo, the cape, my boots, it was all grey.

"Hey Rae, you okay?" My eyes peered upwards as the robotic man stood over me, his sonic canon changing into his normal hand. It was hard to miss the noticeable pause in his step when he caught sight of me and the state I was in. The terror spread through my body when I saw his reaction, his dark skin managed to pale slightly. "Oh god." he whispered, and kneeled down in front of me.

"Hey Cy, we need your-" Beast Boy began as he walked over then paused when he too caught the sight of me. "Oh my god." he whispered, with his eyes wide. Tears started to rim on my eyes at the reaction I was getting.

Why am I so sad- and scared?

"BB go." Cyborg said, switching his feet and blocking my view from Beat Boy, whose feet I heard quickly retreat.

What wrong with me? Was I worse now then before?

"Raven?" Cyborg asked, gaining my attention again. My wet eyes looked up at his deep brown eyes, there was a flash or fear before hope that did nothing to reassure me. "I'm going to take the tape off now, okay." I managed a small nod, that made my brain rattle. His large hand raised up towards my face, which made me flinch in fear as he grabbed the edge of the tape and slowly ripped it off my mouth. Before I could stop it, a tear fell over the edge of my eye and down my cheek which made Cyborg freeze, as I looked up at him.

"I'm scared." my voice cracked as it left my mouth.

"What happened?!" Robin cried. Following a strong urge I hid myself behind Cyborg as he got to his feet to face the worried leader. "Where's Raven?"

"Hey man, give her some room." Cyborg said, putting a hand to hold back the concerned leader. Robin looked down at the metal mans hand in shock.

"Give her room?" he scoffed. "What the hell happened to her?" I cringed at the roughness in his voice and unconsciously grabbed Cyborg arm in fear.

"Lower your voice, your scaring Rae." Cyborg said, while casting a worried look down at me. Peeking out behind him I looked at Robin who's annoyed look turned to worry when he saw me.

"Raven?" he whispered. Letting go of Cyborgs arm I stepped out from my protector.

"We need to take her to the tower, run some tests. But something tells me it might be her emotions." Cyborg analyzed. Robin's eyes continued to look at me, taking in every detail that was written on me. "Robin," Cyborg said, to seize the leaders attention. The domino masked eyes flicked from me to his robotic friend. "Go tell the others and follow us home." he commanded, almost in a leader way.

I know he wasn't trying to have authority over Robin but when it came to medical attention, Cyborg knew what he was doing. The bright traffic cone ran from us and over to the concerned changeling and alien. I felt Cyborgs soft touch on my elbow as he directed me towards the T Car that was covered in red goo. "We're just going to take you home, okay Rae?" he asked, while opening the passenger door. I gave a small nod of the head and buckled myself in safely. Once he was in he pressed the power button letting the engine hum as he pulled away from the scene. "Can you let me in on what happened before we showed up?"

"Red X just wanted a fight." I explained, and looked out the window blankly. "Then Robin was stuck and next thing I knew Red was on top of me." My voice trailed off as the words he said swarmed through my head.

"Did he say something?" he asked. I didn't respond while tears swarmed my eyes, then I gave a small, sad nod.

"Mean things." I croaked, and fumbled with my fingers.

"I won't push it, tell me when you're ready." he sighed and drove down the bridge.

"...No one on this planet, or in their right mind would waste their time to love a piece of pathetic trash like you," echoed through my mind, making me bite back a whimper.

To distract myself I decided to focus on the problem at hand, my emotions. From what I could tell Nevermore was empty, very vacant. Where can my emotions have possibly gone? Maybe they're hiding or in the cave, something like that. They can't be gone- they are me after all. But why am I so scared, I'm terrified of everything and so sad? I'm very timid, and it might explain the color of my cloak. Was I Timid at the moment?

What about the cuts I have, why haven't they healed, along with bruises that were forming. The only reason that could be happening would be if my power is restricted. The thought made my blood run cold. My emotions and powers gone, how the hell could that happen? I know my emotions are a strong factor in my powers but it never occurred to me that I would need both. The sound of the engine cutting off brought me back down to reality.

"Do you want to grab anything from your room before heading to the med bay?" Cyborg asked as I shut the car door. "Maybe a change of clothes?" he opted. I looked down at the ripped grey leotard I was wearing. Then there was a roar of another engine as Robin flew in on his bike.

"Um yeah." I replied, while watching Robin take off his helmet and walked over. I tried my best not to flinch at the quick movements he made. "If you don't mind." I added in a small voice.

"Not at all Rae." Cyborg said. "I'll head up to the med bay and Robin will go with you to your room okay?" Looking at my grey boots I gave a nod and we loaded into the elevator. The silence dragged on till the elevator stopped at the floor where Robin and I exited off. Making sure to keep at least of foot in between, us we made our way down the hall to my room.

"Do you mind if I come in?" Robin asked, as I entered the dark, gothic room. Looking over my shoulder I saw him stand in the doorway his feet outside if my room.

"Oh." I sighed. "Yeah, you can come in." I watched his steel toed boot cautiously step its way into my room while I turned my dresser. Pulling open the oak wood dresser I stared wide eyes at all of the grey cloaks and leotards, every single one was grey.

"Everything okay?" Robin asked, making me jump slightly, at the sudden closeness of his voice. My sense of awareness was gone, just another problem to the list.

"Yeah." I mumbled and opened my bottom drawer where lazy day clothes were. Grabbing a black wife beater and pair of grey cotton shorts I placed them on the dresser and turned to my bookshelf. I scanned over the shelves looking for spell books that could possibly help, then placed the four books on the dresser before turning to my bed. My mirror sat unmoved on my bed, from earlier when everything made sense. Grabbing the mirror I stacked all of my things and scooped them into my arms.

"I can grab those." he offered, before I could protest the small amount of stuff was taken from my arms. Then silently, I followed Robin out of my dark, depressing room and back into the hallway. While we loaded the elevator I racked through my brain for explanations of what could possibly be happening, or what had happened to me. When we both arrived, Cyborg had a bed all ready for me, machines beeping and my medical history on a computer monitor next to the bed.

"You can go change." Cyborg said, while I silently looked at all of the machines, that were about to be hooked up to me. Grabbing my clothes I slipped into the bathroom and changed, I froze when I caught myself in the reflection. The girl looked nothing like the girl I saw earlier this morning. Her skin was more pale, almost a deadly grey, dark circles hung under her sad eyes and the violet hair fell limply. How can I be this girl? Changing into my clothes I turned to leave but paused when I heard Robin's voice leak through the door.

"Is it her emotions or powers?" he asked, I carefully pressed my ear to the cool metal door.

"I don't know man. But I've never seen Raven his scared before." Cyborg replied. "Whatever Red said to her, obviously made something snap."

"What do you remember about Nevermore?" he asked, and I heard the squeak of his shoes as he was probably pacing.

"All of the different Raven's I saw, there were so many, each representing one of her emotions. And this Raven right now, looks like Timid." he explained, and I heard the beeping of more machines. With a sigh I pushed open the door to reveal myself to the two worried teammates. "How you feeling, Rae?" Cyborg asked, while Robin stared at me. I walked across the room and climbed onto the bed, where I sat Indian style in the middle.

"Tired." I answered, which was true; I felt exhausted.

"Okay, we'll just run a couple of test, make sure everything is fine and you can sleep." Cyborg said, and grabbed my arm gently before inserting an IV drip, then attaching two sticky pads to my chest. Reaching over I grabbed my mirror and one of the large spell books next to it. Flipping through the pages I tried to find something about the emoticlones, the monks of Azarath didn't fill me in a whole lot about them, just to control them. And judging by what happened today, I guess I lost control. My eyebrow raised at the thought, the monks of Azarath. I should ask them. Flipping through the pages I found the spell for a portal to Azarath. I looked up at Robin and Cyborg who were staring intently at the screen of my test results. Closing my eyes I pictured Azarath in my head, the bright sky and empty streets, my mother flying around.

"Arella." I whispered, then paused. "Please, I need your help." Another pause and I felt it, the sudden race in my heart beat, and the warmth I felt in the back of my skull.

"Raven?" Cyborg asked, when the beeping of the monitor increased. Closing my eyes tighter the beeping and heat increased until finally, I collapsed onto the bed. Unconscious.

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HI EVERYONE! As usual I want to thanks you for all of the great reviews and follow/favorites, it means the world to me that you guys are enjoying it so much since I love t write it, and its all basically made up on the dot because I have this habit that if I plan out story when I start writing it I wont finish it because its all ready done in my head, ya know? Soo anywhooo i hoped you enjoyed please comment! I reply and give virtual hugsss

: it seriously took all of my power not to not to do a RaexRobxRedX triangle, i think my next story might be a Rae and RedX one, I'm such a sucker for bad buys hehe thanks for the lovely comment! hope you return!

CARDS: haha i wish I could write everyday and give you more i'm just busy all the time, hope you enjoyed the chapter!

mojoboy31: Im happy you like my story so much and you came back! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and saw this!

Dixxy: Alway happy when you comment! Hopefully this will answer any questions about the emoticlones, their not gone forever but I cant really explain where this is going but hopefully you will like the idea it is leaning towards it just seems like something different to me, and I might have Red X come back, I'm not entirely sure but who knows! Hope to see another comment!

ahsokalo: SO SORRY ABOUT THE CLIFF HANGER I'm evil MUHAHAH and you probably hate me for this one too! I'm sorry! Hope you comment again if you dont hate me!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

'I forgot how bright it is here.' I thought to myself, as I squinted into the bright sky of Azarath. I wasn't actually in Azarath, it was my soul self, my physical form was in still the Titans Tower. Continuing down the path of the road, I noticed how empty and abandoned it felt, I don't blame the people of Azarath for leaving. With a demon ruler like Trigon, I'd leave in a heartbeat.

"What are you doing here, young one?" a soft voice behind me said. My heart raced as I whirled around and sighed at the sight of my mother.

"Arella." I sighed in relief. My mother stood there in her white cloak with a dove perched on her hand, she had the same violet hair, but more realistic skin. Not a deadly grey like mine, but I am half demon. "I need your help." I said, taking a unsteady step towards her.

"You lost control didn't you." she stated, dully. My eyes dropped to my feet and I gave a small nod. "I assume it was this boy I heard about? Malchior." My insides cringed at the sound of his name, the way my mother spat out his name.

"Yes." I answered, with a heavy tone.

"They're gone." she said, and I looked up at her puzzled. "Your emotions- your powers- they're gone." That made my blood run cold and dry, I was aware that my powers might be gone but hearing it confirmed, hurts.

"How do I get them back?" I asked.

"You must earn them." she answered, while petting the white bird. "You gave into your feelings- you gave into fear- letting them be released along with your powers. You need to accept your emotions, become one with them, before you can get your powers back."

"Accept my emotions?" I repeated. "You mean take them on?" I asked, in surprise, "That can be extremely dangerous."

"Yes, but one by one you must become an emotion, to feel and be that emotion before they can be a piece of you." she explained, her eyes moved up to connect with mine, in a dull sad way.

"I can't do that!" I cried, and stepped towards her. "My emotions are too wild and out of hand for me to be them. Rage can tear down the whole city! There has to be another way!" I cried.

"The monks taught you how to control yourself, Raven, and you let some silly boy destroy it all." she snapped, causing me to shrink back. "You knew very well that boy was up to no good, and you let him in." she paused, and I felt her eyes boring into me. "I thought we had taught you better than this."

"You?" I whispered, and looked up at her. "You gave me away, mother." I whispered, and ignored the tug at my heart. "You gave me to the monks of Azarath so they can handle the half demon girl, you wanted nothing to do with me and yet you insist on talking about love love to me?" Tears poured into my eyes, but I kept a steady ground and looked at my mother in pain. "I let him in because I thought maybe someone liked me for me. For once, someone wasn't afraid of me." My words hung in the air, and the bird flew away as my mother stepped towards me.

"Raven." she whispered, but I shook my head and took a step back.

"Send me back." I demanded. The silence rang on and I looked up at my mother with sadness. "Send me back." With one last look of guilt I felt my my heart begin to race and the familiar heat returned to the base of my neck till I was engulfed in a bright light.

I gasped as I returned into my physical form, sitting straight up in the bed, sweat building up on my forehead as my heart continued to race.

"Raven!" Robin called, jumping to his feet from a chair he was seated in. "Beast Boy get Cyborg."

"On it!" the green changeling called, as he ran out the door. Little gasps made their way out of my mouth as tears continued to collect in my eyes, and my fingers clutched the bed sheets.

"Rae?" Robin asked, gently, sitting in front of me on my bed. He grabbed my shoulders, directing my gaze to him. "It's me, can you tell me what happened?" My wet eyes shifted over to our worried leader, and the small gasps began to turn into the beginnings of a sob. "Hey, hey, hey." he cooed, and pulled me into his arms, where the tears unleashed.

"They're gone, Robin," I cried, clutching to his shirt that I was soaking with my tears. "Everything, my emotions, my powers." I clenched my eyes shut, praying that it was just an awful nightmare and I would soon wake up.

"How can you get them back?" he asked. "There has to be a way." he said, while rubbing patterns into my back.

"To become each of my emotions." I croaked, numbly as the tears subsided. "One by one, embrace every one of my emotions and get them back to Nevermore, restore the balance, and I'll get my powers back."

"Like the time you needed to accept your fear?" he questioned. I gave a small worthless nod. Pulling me back, Robin's gloved hand pulled my chin up, where our eyes connected. "We'll do it."

"How?" I whispered, "Between the crimes in Jump and Slade on our backs it'll take months." I pointed out. "I can't even protect the city anymore, I'm not even a Titan." I said, almost on the brink of a break down. Me, Raven, about to have a meltdown.

"Don't say that." Robin snapped, for the second time today. "You will always be a Titan, powers or not." I suppressed the urge to argue any further and placed my forehead on his shoulder, feeling his arms wrap around me, protectively. "We'll get through this." he said, strongly.

I sure hope so.

* * *

**Heyyy everyone I hoped you enjoyed the chapter! I have a question which I would like you guys to answer if you can! So as you know I don't really plan out my story it just kind of happens but I've been comments about Red X and Robin, can I get your guys opinion on what you want? Robin and Raven or Raven and Red X? Also what do you guys want out of this? i want you guys to be happy and comfortable so tell me! i'm not sure which way you guys want me to go but I want you guys happy and I'm fine with anything :) so please respond and I'll se you next time!**

**Guest: thank you for the amazing comment! You should get an account and join the family!**

**CrizCakez: THANK YOU it means so much when people compliment my writing because I don't show my family or friends my writing, I get nervous about how they'll react or what they'll think so that's why I post online. Everyone is so nice :) **

**Dixxy: hey! I guess great minds think alike :) So I say go for it! ill definitely read your since I love to read, and you're so nice to me in you comments. And again with the plot I have my ways to go but PLEASE tell me what would you honestly like, I don't know where I'll go maybe Red might have some weird obsession with Raven, who knows! Thank for the comments please reply!**

**Guest: I do plan on having Raven become every emotion, well that we know of. I won't tell you guys the order just to leave it a surprise but Raven will become happy raven. Please comment again!**

**Mojoboy31: your welcome for the non triangle! They sometimes hurt my head, I'm always like 'girl just make up your damn mind!' Haha comment again! **

**Nkcandygirl: I hoped I updated quick enough for you! Thanks for the beautiful comment and please do it again!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"There's our little bird!" Cyborg cried, as he entered the room, his voice bouncing off the walls. I pulled away from Robin's warm arms to watch the cyborg enter the room. "A heads up next time would be nice."

"Sorry about that." I apologized, ignoring the look of surprise I got. "How long was I out?" I asked.

"About three hours." he answered, while scanning over my medical charts on the monitor. "I assume you went home to get some answers?"

"Yeah," I replied and dropped my gaze to the floor. "I saw my mother actually."

"What'd you find out?" I opened my mouth to explain but was beaten by the serious Robin.

"She has to be become to each of her emotions." Robin explained, and stood up from the bed, raking a hand through his spiky hair. "One by one she needs to become the emotion, accept it before she can she send them back to Nevermore."

"Then you'll get your powers back? Cyborg asked, crossing his arms and staring at me with concern.

"Hopefully." I said, and looked up with a frown. "That's what my mother said." I had the sudden urge to cry again, damn Timid. She's so emotional. The steel door then slid open revealing the other two Titans, Starfire and Beast Boy.

"Oh glorious!" the red headed alien cheered. "Friend Raven, how are you?" she asked, while flying over to my bed side and holding up a mug of what I assumed was tea, or Starfire's version of tea. "Here, I brought you a mug of your favorite hot beverage."

"Thanks Star." I managed a small smile and grabbed the mug, smelling the rising steam. Yeah, there was definitely mustard in this, but I took the mug anyway.

"How are you feeling, Rae?" Beast Boy asked, making his way over to the other side of my bed.

"I'm okay." I answered, then added, "As okay as I can feel."

"We should let you rest." Robin spoke up. I could feel his hard gaze on me which I ignored, while I looked at my concerned friends.

"Can I go to my room?" I asked, directing the question at Cyborg.

"Of course." he said, and began to take wires, and sticky pads off of my skin. "I'll want to run some more test later in the week, make sure everything is okay."

After ten minutes of arguing I managed to convince everyone I din't need help to my room, or in Starefire's case the reading of a bed time story. I managed to get to my room fine with my books in my arms and opened the door with a quick tap on the security pad, before walking in and letting it shut behind me. Putting my books away I climbed into my dark, blanketed bed and directed my gaze out my window, over the sea and at the city. I didn't bother to lie down, I knew it was useless since I was terrified to go to sleep. Who knew what awful dreams awaited me. Trigon, Red X, Malchior, I'm sure they were all waiting for me, to terrorize me. It made my skin crawl at the dark thoughts, the memories I had of them.

Trigon, my father manages to disgust me in every way. I know he's somewhere deep in the pit of hell, but because of him I am the way I am. Having to discipline myself, so my powers don't lose control, like they did before and I lost control. He ruined my mothers life, choosing her as his mate, creating me and leaving Azarath as soon as possible. The people of Azarath have always welcomed me with open arms, like the Monks who cared for me as child, when my mother didn't.

I cringed at the raw memories of my mother almost being afraid of me, when I would cry for her. The monks taught me how to become vacant, in order to control everything, they use to sing chants to me to calm me, or make me sleep. Looking over at my clock it read two o'clock.

"I could really use one of those chants tight now..." I said to myself.

"Cant sleep?" a voice asked, from behind me causing me to jump.

"Seems like I've lost all of my senses." I grumbled, while looking over my shoulder to see Robin stepping through my door holding a mug. I was surprised to see him in what I would call pajamas, gray sweats and a wife beater and not his flashy suit.

"Sorry about that." he said, and walked over to my bed. "What's the matter?" he asked, and handed me the mug, I gave a shrug and grabbed the mug before turning back to the window. The mattress moved to the pressure of him taking a seat next to me and we stared over the city in silence.

"Everything." I replied after a moment, and took a sip of the mustard free tea. "I'm too scared to sleep." I directed my gaze over to him. "What's your excuse?"

"Too stressed, I guess." he answered, running his fingers through his already disheveled hair.

"How'd you know I was awake?" I asked, curiously.

"The bond." I raised my eyebrows in surprise that it's still there do to my lack of power.

"It's still there?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "The walls down, too." My heart skipped a beat at the information. "That's how I knew you were awake, and how I knew you were okay when you were unconscious." he looked over a me with his masked eyes. "I can feel what you feel." I never dropped his gaze as I felt it scanned over my face. "Your fear, the sadness, worry, guilt, I can feel it all." I dropped the gaze and looked at the dark substance in my cup.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, mentally scolding myself for feeling anything. "I should be more careful."

"No," he said, reaching out and touching my arm, the sudden contact almost made me jump. "Don't be. I like it. I feel like I can keep a better eye on you, without invading you." I didn't say anything but looked at his hand that rested against the pale skin of mine. "You can let me in, Raven." he whispered. I knew he wasn't telling me I can, he can already access my thoughts and feelings he was just asking permission.

"You wouldn't like it." I chose as an answer and took another sip of my tea, letting his hand drop to the bed, narrowly missing my leg.

"Let me be the judge of that." he insisted and I snapped my eyes up to his.

"Then let me see your eyes." I snapped, not meaning the sudden lash of emotion But if he wanted to be with in my mind then he could let me see his eyes.

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"You want inside of my mind then let me see your eyes." He didn't respond and I felt my point was proven. "My mind is the only thing I have left Robin. Neither of us trust each other yet, so we need to give it time." I said, then a yawn managed to escape my lips as my eyes grew heavy.

"I'll let you rest." Robin said, grabbing the tea mug and getting up from my bed. But I felt guilty and grabbed his arm, stopping him before he could stand.

"Thanks, Robin." was all I could say, "for the tea."

* * *

Heyyyy everyone, welcome back I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'm hinting some Rob and Rae, don't worry it'll get there haha, just need some drama first. So I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter thanks for all of the reviews, and all of the new followers please keep it coming I love it! See you next time!

Guest: WHY ARE YOU A GUEST GET AN ACCOUNT! haha Thanks for the review please come back

ahsokalo: sweet and straight to the point, i like it. Haha comment again please!

52 CARDS: Welcome back lovely, and I think I'll keep it Rob and Rae, I'm already working on a Red and Rae (shh) haha thanks for commenting please do it again!

Jinx(Guest): HI! I dont believe I have seen you in these neck of the woods. Haha I crack myself up, thanks for commenting and I hope you liked the chapter!

pyschic soul: DUDE I JUST REALIZED YOU WRITE MY FAVORITE BAD ROBIN STORY ON HERE Number 1 Zero! I EFFING LOVE YOUR STORY (Breathe Sierra, calm yourself) anywayyy thansk so much for commenting again! hope to see you next chapter!

Dixxy: LÉO! My name is Sierra, pleasure to meet you formally haha. As always thanks for the lovely comment my dear and I say I CANT WAIT FOR THE STORY i'll totally read it. And I love your long comments they make my day! I hope to get another one, thanks lovely!

mojoboy31: Thanks for coming back as always, I'm definitely keeping Rae and Rob, next story it'll be X a very dark story I think, still working out the kinks, haha hope you enjoyed the chapter!

YajirushiZ: HI! I think I'd do the same thing, I dont get how soap opera stars do it, I'd be cracking up! Thanks for sunny comment and hope to see you again!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The next day I was surprised when I woke up around noon. My body felt at least decent with a couple hours of sleep. I sat in my bed for a while thinking over everything and about what to do. I wasn't really even sure what I'm suppose to do- how I'm suppose to accept these emotions that control me. Getting out of bed I changed into a black leotard and grey cloak, along with me gems before making my way to the kitchen. When I arrived I noticed the other Titans were standing around talking quietly about something until they caught sight of me and fell silent.

"Please don't do that." I asked, into the silent air. "If I have to act normal you have to as well," with that being said I made my way to the fridge for some breakfast and tea while the team carried on.

"I just want you guys to check out the warehouse and be back before nine." Robin explained, "And make sure word doesn't get out about Raven's powers."

"Alright." Cyborg said, going into leader mode. "Titans move out." I watched silently as Cyborg, Starfire, and Beast Boy made their way out.

"You're on babysitting duty?" I asked dully while I settled for just tea as my breakfast. The hot water and leaves brewed while I heard Robin's silent steps behind me.

"No, you and I are going to train today." I was surprised by the information but made sure he couldn't tell from my turned body.

"You're going to train me?" I asked, not bothering to look at him. "How? When I'm terrified of my own shadow."

That was an exaggeration of course.

"I want you you to be able to protect yourself in case of an emergency." his strong voice said behind me. Grabbing my mug I turned to face the leader with a neutral face, though on the inside, of course I was terrified.

"In an emergency?" I asked, blowing air into the hot cup. His masked eyes ran over the expression and lines on my face before answering.

"Just in case there is a break in." he explained and dropped his look.

"Oh." I said, understanding the double meaning to his explanation.

"In case someone found out I'm powerless." When he didn't respond I felt my hands go cold and me neck tensed up. "And they want to finish me off?" I pushed.

"Were not going to let that happen to you." Robin declared, "Ever." No matter how many times he said, or how he said it I could still feel the possibility of my life on the line.

"I should leave." I said, suddenly losing my appetite for tea and placed it back on the counter top. "You guys can get someone from Titan's East." I tightened my core to keep my voice from shaking with tears, but when Robin's hand grabbed mine I felt the tears begin to pool.

"No." he said, almost growling. "You are not leaving the team."

"Why should I stay?" I asked, looking up at him, blinking away the tears. "I'm a risk to the team if someone breaks in to find me and hurts you guys."

"I don't care." he snapped. "You're not leaving the team and you're not leaving me." I stared at him in shock at the words he said. Why would he want me to stay and risk the safety of the team.

"What do you expect me to learn?" I said, not shaking off his hand or the words he said.

"Nothing." he answered. "I just want you to be able to protect yourself."

In the Titan Training Room, Robin was laying out mats while I sat on a bench with a sad face. I changed into some exercising shorts from Star's room and a black tank top I had in the back of my closet that managed not to turn grey and a pair of white socks. After the conversation in the kitchen I only gave Robin a nod and left to go change. I wished he would listen to my pleas and let me go.

_'You're not leaving me' _the words rang through my head while I stared at Bird Boy. He traded in his flashy uniform for a pair of black sweats and a white tank top. I never noticed the amount of of muscle that he had. The ones that rolled on his back as he flipped the heavy mat, and it crashed to the floor with a little dust rising.

"You don't expect me to become a martial arts master, do you?" I asked, my voice startling both of us. When he placed the last mat down, Robin turned to look at me, dusting his hands off.

"Of course not." he replied, a small smile on his lips. "I don't expect anything out of you. I just want you to be able to punch someone in the face." I almost laughed which scared me, but I let a small smile stretch across my lips. "Come here." he said, waving me over to the mat.

With a small sigh I got up to my feet and made my way over to the center of the mat. "Okay rule number one, always, not matter how tired you are, or how bruised and battered you are, keep your hands up." Grabbing my balled up hands he placed them a few inches in front of my face shaking them slightly to get me to tense up. "Okay? Now you're tiny Raven," I sent him a glare and he smirked. "So they'll try to get their arms around you." Walking behind me Robin wrapped his arms tightly around me and my arms, I could feel his heart beating against my back, which made it hard to think.

"You want to try and avoid this position as much as possible, but say Red X has you trapped like this." I cringed at the sound of his name, and placed a wall up against the memories that dared to flow. "You want to stomp really hard on the top of their foot." I gave a nod and stepped gently on top of his foot. "This will usually cause their grip to slip. Now you can ram you elbow into my lower stomach." Loosening his grip on me he grabbed my elbow gently, and pulled it back till it was against his lower abdomen. "About right there. Once you hit there, the attacker will lean forward because of the air you knocked out of them, that's when you ram them hard in the face, okay?" he asked. "As hard as you can Raven."

"Then what?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"Then you run as fast as you can." I could see the seriousness in his face as he grabbed my shoulders and dropped his gaze down to my level. "Don't turn your back, or look behind you, you run as fast as you can."


End file.
